New Year: Back to The Blog

I haven't blogged here much since The Bun was born. Life has been hectic, and time hard to find. Some things I have wanted to say and haven't had time to think them through and put them down. Some things I haven't known how to say. Some things seemed worth saying until a week had gone by and then seemed to insignificant to bother recording after that time had passed, or receded to the back of my mind, pushed aside by other, more pressing matters.

I think, though, that I need to return here. This past month has found me so occupied with worry and nerves and to-dos and annoyances that I haven't been stopping to enjoy things, haven't found the space in my brain, and lately, I haven't been able to process things and let them go, carrying them with me for far longer than they ever warranted doing.

I remember when I first started blogging, that I found it made me look at the world differently, made me look for those things I wanted to record, either to remember and enjoy again later, or to share with you or with my kids as they grew. It made me look for the funny, the quirky, the sweet, as well as giving me a place to vent or to sift through things. I need that again, I think. I have things I want to say, things I keep replaying in my head, things I want to tell someone about, but even more importantly, I want my eyes opened to the good stuff again, and the reminder that I should be dwelling on it.

Pumpkinpie totally hit me with that last night, as I pondered over something else and urged her to move out of the hallway so I could pass - she told me I should be thankful for her, not cranky with her. I am, of course, but I think there's a kernel of truth in her outburst, too, because I've been feeling like she is getting short shrift lately, and I hate that. It seems that I, like many mothers, never have enough time or energy to go around. That's part of what stopped me blogging a couple of years back, really, but my hope is that going back to it might seem less like slicing off another bit of time, and more like finding a space to remember what' s important.

Here's hoping - and happiest of new years to those who happen by.