Sweet Fleeting Days of Summer, Near Gone By

This summer has fled unusually fast.

Work has been a blur, flying from programme to storytime, street fair to puppet show. I am playing the role of two people, and while I can do that, it leaves me with not much left for home, for friends, or for myself.

Evenings and weekends have seen me moping about, exhausted, trying to tackle projects when I have the steam for it, falling asleep tucked alongside my children at bedtime many nights, and wishing I felt like I had it left in me to get up and do something more fun with them.

Pumpkinpie, who is suffering for a lack of attention, is making a pest of herself in an attempt to grab some time or spotlight for herself, soemthing she desperately needs, and I badly want to give her.

The Bun is always a happy wee fellow, but has become more of a daddy's boy over the summer, when he has seen more of Misterpie than of me.

Misterpie has been valiantly carrying along the household, waking me and pulling me to my own bed many a night, picking up children, working on projects that we both wish or planned to go faster. He has pushed along his own projects and dreams for the reality of this mad summer, and had little of me to himself in exchange.

The summer is winding to a close, now, and I am nearly out of steam to reach the finish, yet there are so many things I wanted, still wish, to fit in somewhere, somehow. I am running out of time for that special day out with Pumpkinpie, to give her what she clearly craves, and make a special memory moment to carry forward into the school year. I hope that working alongside Misterpie as we set up his classroom will afford us the chances for little moments of reconnection, give us back the feeling of a team, usually so strong with us, that has been missing these last few weeks. The Bun, I will be able to steal moments with after school begins, for he is young enough not to hew to that schedule as the rest of us do.

I need, I think, just a few extra days of summer.

Not for the drawing out of steamy, golden hot days of children digging in dirt or splashing in shallow pools, not for the lazy evenings and nights of luxuriating in little need for covers, not even for the feasts of corn and barbecue, and the perfect weather for cool glasses of tonic.

No, I need a few extra days to spend reconnecting before my girl and Misterpie are both swept into the relentless schedule and necessities of the school year. A day to find a few special things for Pumpkinpie, in hopes of getting her excited about school starting, to feel like she is ready and outfitted. A day to finish off a few projects left in the kitchen reno, maybe even an extra day for other projects I'd like to see done at long last. Perhaps even time to catch up on blogging, drop around on a few friends, even relax?

Sadly, no. It will be a race to the finish, but I am determined to find a morning here, to snatch an afternoon there, to send my Pumpkinpie back on a better note. The days may be growing shorter once more, the air may not be as heavy with heat, but I am certain that I can wring just one or two more moments out of this summer. I need to.

Those Little Epiphanies

I like to keep busy. I don't sit still well. And yet... I totally lack energy and sit still as often as I can. While other families take on trips to the zoo or spend the weekend out and about, I like to sit and often find it difficult to wind myself up for a simple trip to the playground in the park not far away.

My dad tells me he has "lazy mitochondria," and lacks energy, but has arranged life so that he can spend as much time as possible sitting, chatting with friends, writing, and living at the slower pace that he enjoys.

I think I realized just the other day that the reason I try to keep myself busy so much of the time is not only because there is so much to do, so many things I would like to get done, but also because I fear that if I sit still for too long, I will slip into complete torpor and be unable to rouse myself again. Rolling stones and moss and such, doncha know.

So it is that every few days off I find myself with, I take on a project or two, so that my momentum doesn't slow down, allowing inertia to set in. This weekend is no exception.

We are ripping out the four feet or so of totally unusable cabinets we have under our sink, as well as removing the stand-alone dishwasher and some wall shelving, and putting in a good ten or twelve feet of actual cabinets with things like shelves! and drawers! and a countertop that isn't threatening to give way and drop the faucet through entirely.

And of course, because no project is ever as small as it starts out, this also involves moving the sink and dishwasher, bringing the air vent out from under the window, cutting away from trim to fit the cabinets in front of the window, and why not? a bit of painting and tiling.

Still, we are hoping that we can get this pretty much done within this week. Here's hoping that good old momentum will just barrel on through...