What I've Learned About Boys

My dear friend Alberta is carrying a very soon-to-be-born boy.

I'm not hosting one of those fancy internet showers full of giveaways and gifts, but I am looking to give her a gift of sorts - one that some of you gave me when I was expecting The Bun. I would like to give her some of our best knowledge about boys.

Now she is a teacher, so she knows about the slower development schedule and the enhanced energy-making capabilities of XY-gendered mitochondria. I mean those other things, the one people don't really tell you about. The tips that make things easier, the things you didn't expect but would have been nice to know so you were ready for them. You know the ones.

I'll start:

- Someone told me that the digestive tract of a boy is a totally different and more fearsome beast than that of a girl. I admit, I scoffed. "Human innards are human innards," I thought. I thought wrong. I can't explain it, but the phenomenon of the poonami was a new one to me, one that came with my boy. Sorry, Alberta. I think it's true.

- I was given one very sage piece of advice: buy a fistful of those little baby washcloths and drape one over the babe's business every time you change him. I did for the first several months, and saved myself more than one soaking. Misterpie caught a couple, as did the nursing station at the doctor's office. It's totally worth it to take this trick to heart.

- The equipment may be small, but it's apparently functional. Especially upon waking up from a nap, it seems. I have to admit, the baby wood freaks me out. It just seems entirely wrong to be handling a firm pen1s that small. Wiping under that situation may be just a mite less thorough up front than usual, let's just say.

- My god, this boy can eat some protein. Be prepared to boil a half-dozen eggs at once and buy cheese buy the massive family-sized brick.

- And finally, I had my hesitations about a boy. I didn't know boys, I was worried about whether I would like one, but everyone told me they are the sweetest thing going. They were right. This little guy has my heart completely, as pretty much all my recent posts attest. It's not that I love him any more than Pumpkinpie, but at this stage, she was just a little more prickly, and he is a total cuddlebug. Did I tell you he's giving me kisses that actually resemble kisses now? Just saying, be prepared to give away the last remaining ounces of your heart.

I'm sure I missed a bunch. Care to chip in via comments, anyone?

The Cutest Baby In The World

... is yours, of course. But I would propose mine as a fantastic understudy for the role because holy doodle, little guy is knocking me out lately.

I mean, I have a pretty cute little boy to start with. He's got big, deep blue eyes, round nibble-able pink cheeks (and giggles adorably when you nibble them), soft brown hair heavy with waves, and a sturdy frame that trundles hilariously down the street. He's happy, mostly, too, filled with squeals of delights and excitement at showing you the things he sees in the world.

But lately, he has been super-cuddly, which I love, laying his head on my shoulder, climbing on my lap, and demanding to be held. All sweet. And he's been patting the floor beside him and asking my to "sit, mama" and share his game. When he inevitably bashes someone or pulls hair when he's removing your hat and your "ouch" tells him he's hurt you, he immediately says "sorry, mama" and gives a hug. Sweeter still. I gave him something the other day, and his response was a delighted, "Ooh, thank you!" Not convinced yet?

The best part really, right now, is that he responds to everything by looking up at you, widening his bright eyes, and uttering a chipper, "Otay!"

Gah. My heart, she is all melty-like.

My New Line

So much I want to write about, so little time...

Misterpie and I are hardly seeing each other these few weeks, we are so busy.

I am getting to dread solo parenting less as I get used to it, though I still feel hopelessly outnumbered.

But at least there's funny on the internet to keep me company once kids go to bed, including my twitter peeps, plus this, this, lit humour, kidslit humour, and this quotation:

A real man is a woman's best friend. He will never stand her up and never let her down. He will reassure her when she feels insecure and comfort her after a bad day. He will inspire her to do things she never thought she could do; to live without fear and forget regret. He will enable her to express her deepest emotions and give in to her most intimate desires. He will make sure she always feels as though she's the most beautiful woman in the room and will enable her to be the most confident, sexy, seductive, invincible.... No wait... I'm thinking of alcohol.

-Chelsea White

That might just be my new tag line.
Catch you soon, when I have a moment!

Wordless Wednesday: Duck in a Box

The Bun's first pun / cultural reference!

It wasn't even my idea, I swear.
See? Look:

So proud.
(Yes, I'm joking.)

I *promise* this won't become The Bun's Sleep Log Blog, but...

We have had full sleep-through for 6 nights running now!

Now he and I have brutal colds, and if his head feels like mine, it may be that he simply needs the sleep more than usual because ugh, I feel like crap, and will someone chip the concrete out of my sinus cavities, but a girl can dream, right? I can hope with all my heart that this will continue even after his head clears, although I am trying hard to hide the bright burning light of my hope under a bushel so some laughing sleep god doesn't come to phewph it out? I can hope.

So there. (C'mon, Bun!)

Sshhh...

Don't spread this around - I'm saying this very quietly so I don't draw the attention of the sleep fates and bring them crashing down on me and this tiny little "whee" of celebration, but - my little Bun has slept through four nights running!

Sshhh... we're going for five tonight.

Wordless Wednesday: Book. Drink. Book Club Bound.

He'd fit right in.