The Old Pumpkinpie-in-your-face Joke

Pumpkinpie has always been a silly kid, a ham without a doubt, but some days, she is just ridiculous. These are all from one hour block last weekend. I kid you not. She was like a coked-up monkey with ADHD.

- In the process of getting dressed she is found at one point in my room at the end of my bed, holding one foot up in the air with her hand and hopping up and down on the other as if springloaded. Did I mention she was stark naked? Stark raving naked, more like.

- Soon after, clad on the bottom half only, she tells me she can make dolphin noises (which she does), and that she can swim like a dolphin. She throws herself on the ground, tucking arms under torso and pushing up on elbows and knees to wriggle across the floor. What? I say, Dolphins don't even have arms, silly. In response, she stuck her hands out to the side and began flapping them like flippers. And then I died laughing.

- A song was playing on her "radio." I can wiggle my fingers, I can wiggle my toes, I can wiggle my elbows, and eeeven my nose... Pumpkinpie says to me, as I make her morning oatmeal, Wanna see me wiggle? I have to laugh. Are you kidding me? I ask. I know you can wiggle! You are wigglier than a bag of snakes! To which she proceeds to tell me about the time she saw a snake juggling five cakes. No kidding. I call her on that - her tales are growing wilder every day, and girl does not know when to bail out of it, either. I point out that snakes have no arms or legs with which to juggle even one item. Never one to admit defeat, she thinks fast. Well, it was... it was in a semi-circle, and it was, um, it was juggling with its tail and its head!

All at top volume, too. As she nears age five, she seems to have lost the ability to moderate her decibel level. Makes me understand now why Dora the Explorer's mother throws her out of the house to go play in the jungle - that kid shouts all the time, too. Though I still think it would have to have been a pretty bad day to tell her to go find a nice friendly bull to play with...